Umm I'm too high to move.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
