that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
