There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
