Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
