so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
