How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
