new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
