you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
