Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
