peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize