"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
it glows. i had to have it.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
