i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It's never too late to be topless.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
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