explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
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