you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
