i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
