This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize