my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
