We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
