he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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