I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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