is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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