Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize