But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize