Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i out mim tonsoeep
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