FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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