What a fucking waste of an outfit
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
