Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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