i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We had sex on a dog bed..
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
