she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
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You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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