i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
