I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
