Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
