I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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