I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I party with great urgency now.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
