I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I could fuck to npr.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize