Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
