i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
