This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I need moral support for this bender
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
