my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
