Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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