its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
