i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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