I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
my poor anus
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
