I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
