What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
