I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
