Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
