Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize