I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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