Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
