fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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