So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
