You can't motorboat a personality
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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