There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
