so that wasnt chicken after all
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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