I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
