We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
