Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
