Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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