yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize